Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
