I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
