I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
