is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
