I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
