A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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