I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
My feet surprised me
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
