You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
