I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
