let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
