you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
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Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
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Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
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