***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Randomize
