worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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