I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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