I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
