I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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