i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
