are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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