im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
