Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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