just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
