my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
