just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
