And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize