just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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