forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
