How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
