He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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