My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
