The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
