I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
