am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
My feet surprised me
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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