too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Sext me about skeletons
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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