I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
