god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
BRING THE BAGELS
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
