Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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