all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
