Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
