im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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