great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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