I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
