IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
