How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
