May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
