I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
