2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize