do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
