People with herpes should wear stickers.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Hippo gnu deer
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
