And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
