If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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