The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
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I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
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He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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