i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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