If that was your dad, he is hot
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
