Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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