Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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