I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
the day after is always just damage control
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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