we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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