Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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