It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
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