so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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