I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
