Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
