She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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