Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
40s are totally the cure
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
