Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
